three hundred and sixty-five days later

damn well, here we go

first, let’s take this moment to send condolences to everyone that has lost someone this year. to senseless violence, unspoken hurt, depression, suicide, and anything else that has taken someone from us too soon. every family that has been affected by the tragedies that have happened this year you are in my prayers.

this past year was one for the record books, to say the least. first off let me start by apologizing. to my family and friends the person that y’all saw on a day-to-day basis to start the year. i know it wasn’t me. i was the same person y’all know me to be, the guy that’s quiet, laid back, reserved, and never let things get the best of me. but my normal ways were being used as a front to cope w/ how i was feeling. i use to feel like i had a lot to prove. it felt like everything i did was an issue or a problem. there were times i sat and asked myself “does how i feel matter”? am i just supposed to succumb to my emotions and go with “you’re a man, you’re not allowed to feel anything”? i had been doing it all my life that’s all i knew. so i did what i knew best. but enough about me for right now.

i know it looks easy to shake your head and say nothing or i’m good. i mean sometimes you gotta go ahead and do it because not everyone needs to know what’s going on. it’s hard to admit sometimes you need help in this battle you’ve been in. where no one knows how long you’ve been fighting but yourself. i just want you to know it’s alright. how ever you’re feeling i want you to know that you don’t have to bottle it in and pop it all at once. all your problems should never change the aspect of who you are and what you portray yourself as. some things people will never get about you and that’s ok. this life is all about coming to terms with everything you ever came across and how you use those experiences and use that knowledge for the rest of your life.

i’m trying my best to end this on a positive note but if you need help go get it. we all try to laugh off the problems or deflect them. as someone told me the other day we’re all fucked up. as harsh as it sounds at first, it’s the first step of coming to that realization of yourself. and that’s where your journey starts to find the avenues you feel like you need to help yourself become a better person and feel good about yourself. if it’s a deep talk with a friend you trust, writing down how you feel, or going to therapy. find your happy medium, do what you love, live your life the way you want and only for you because fuck what anyone else has to say about it. it's easier said then done i know, but i promise it's such a rewarding feeling.

the last time we talked about the game of 2022 i told y’all i was down by three. well, three turned into twenty-four real quick in the third quarter. now i could’ve just packed it up taken the L, and got ready for next year. but the game wasn’t over. if there’s time on the clock you’re still in it. i mean y’all saw or heard what the minnesota vikings did to the indianapolis colts the other week. just know i’m up three in the fourth and it’s the two-minute warning and i promise you i’m walking out with a W.

last quote of the year so let's end it with this. “do the work, have a good heart and when it’s all said and done, you’ll land right where you’re supposed to be”. i hope y’all have an amazing time during these holidays, tell your family and friends you love them and keep being you. and do me one favor. go close this year out on a W. i’ll see y’all next year and as always,

my stance different man listen.

rev.